God there’s so much garbage going on right now.
Headline: Brett Kavanaugh got assassinated, but he got better, which means politically motivated rightwing violence doesn’t matter/exist/is a hoax.
Except actually not really. What happened was that a disturbed man named Nicholas John Roske, 26, of Simi Valley, California, called the cops and said he wanted to kill himself and Kavanaugh. He told the cops he was upset about Samuel’s Alito’s leaked “I Wrote An Incel Blog Reddit Post In Poo And Called It A Draft Opinion” screed on abortion — Wonkette’s description — and also America’s latest large-scale gun massacre, in Uvalde, Texas. It’s kind of confusing, and it certainly doesn’t seem like some well-thought-out plot. He literally got out of a cab near the house, then called the cops on himself and said he was suicidal.
But whatever. We really do mean it when we say we condemn all violence of this sort. Rightwingers … really don’t. They say “thoughts and prayers” and pay lip service when a fellow rightwinger actually completes a massacre, then they do it again three days later when another fellow rightwinger completes a massacre, then they do it again when all their followers commit a terrorist attack against the US Capitol to overturn an election. Rinse (blood off), repeat.
Of course, over there on Fox News, this is the ONLY POLITICAL VIOLENCE THAT EVER HAPPENED, and Jesse Watters thinks maybe the elaborate plot was ordered by Joe Biden himself.
JESSE WATTERS: Today police arrested 26-year-old Nicholas John Roske at 1:30 A.M. He was carrying a bag with a Glock 17, a tactical knife, pepper spray, zip ties, a hammer, a screwdriver, a nail punch, a crowbar. Sounds like he wanted to take him out into the woods.
Or on a MAGA tour of the Capitol.
WATTERS: Well, it came close to that until he got cold feet when he saw US Marshals with arms guarding Kavanaugh’s house and called the cops on himself, telling them everything. He says he was furious over Roe v. Wade possibly being overturned — remember the leak? — and was looking for purpose in his life. So he found that purpose by going out and trying to kill a Supreme Court justice. Do you think that idea just popped into his head? Or did the orders come all the way from the top?
Dunno, Jesse, what do we think Joe Biden might have said that suggested Roske should do this?
Was it “You will never take back our country with weakness”? Did he say, “If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you? Seriously. Just knock the hell out of them. I promise you, I will pay for the legal fees. I promise. There won’t be so much of them because the courts agree with us.” Maybe he said, “We’re not allowed to punch back anymore. I love the old days. You know what they used to do to guys like that when they were in a place like this? They’d be carried out on a stretcher, folks.”
Did Joe Biden call the Supreme Court the “enemy of the people” or tweet about “Liddle Brett Kavanaugh”? Did he lead “lock her up” chants about Kavanaugh at his last rally?
What, Jesse, what? Tell us. Use your words.
Joshua Holland makes a notable note:
Whaaaaaaaat?
Oh yes, that happened. Did you even know? Last week a man entered the home of a retired 68-year-old Wisconsin judge named John “Jack” Roemer, zip-tied him up and shot him to death. Then the shooter shot himself. (He has now died.) Democratic Wisconsin Attorney General Josh Kaul told reporters it was a “targeted” killing, and it’s been reported that the Democratic governors of Wisconsin (Tony Evers) and Michigan (Gretchen Whitmer) were both listed as potential targets.
Let’s see Fox News freak out about that. Haha just kidding, Tucker Carlson saw a squirrel dressed like a drag queen, so he probably needs to spend some time doing some homophobic white supremacist chihuahua-shivering about that instead.
In related news, credibly accused sexual predator Brett Kavanaugh is scheduled to commit an unspeakable act of violence against all women in the United States any old day now, when he cosigns an opinion confiscating their right to decide whether they want their bodies conscripted into servitude as broodmares for the patriarchy.
Maybe he should call the cops on himself before he does something like that!
Anyway, we are being very uncivil, so we will show ourselves the fuck out of this blog post now.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you’re not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?
