10 Worst Family Movies of the 2000s, Ranked

The 2000s was a wild time for cinema. Advancements in CGI resulted in more extravagant and bold stories, and the success of The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the first X-Men film saw a boom in the fantasy and superhero genres. In the world of animation, Disney saw major competition from Pixar and DreamWorks, and 2D animation was phased out with CGI.

Sadly, not every film that came out this decade was a winner. Family movies were hit especially hard by a string of unfunny comedies full of low-brow humor and low-quality filmmaking that often tried to ensnare viewers with celebrity actors. These are the worst family movies of the 2000s, living up to their reputation as the worst of the worst. This list will rank them based on their quality (or lack thereof), unhumorous plots, and mediocre performances.

10

‘Home Alone 4’ (2002)

Directed by Rod Daniel

Kevin McCallister (Mike Weinberg) accepts the offer to spend Christmas with his father, Peter (Jason Beghe) and his rich girlfriend, Natalie (Joanna Going), while they host some visiting royals at Natalie’s mansion. Thus, Kevin comes into conflict with his old enemy, Marv (French Stewart), and his wife, Vera (Missi Pyle), who plan to kidnap the crown prince for ransom. Since his father doesn’t believe him, Kevin finds ways to work around Natalie’s butler, Mr. Prescott (Erick Avari), to defend the house.

Home Alone 4 is the perfect example of a film that was made to cash in on brand recognition while having no respect for the franchise or the audience. What is the point of bringing back characters like the McCallister family and Marv if they are played by different actors and act horribly out of character? Perhaps if the film was funny, these changes could be forgiven, but the jokes are just the same tired old slapstick that reinforces that the franchise should have ended with its amazing first sequel.

Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House

Release Date

November 3, 2002

Directors

Rod Daniel

9

‘Shark Tale’ (2004)

Directed by Vicky Jenson, Bibo Bergeron, and Rob Letterman

Oscar (Will Smith) is a little fish with big ambitions of fame and fortune, but only if he can repay the money he owes his boss, Mr. Sykes (Martin Scorsese). When his crush, Angie (Renée Zellweger), sells a family heirloom to help Oscar, he blows it all in a horse race, so Sykes orders him killed. Meanwhile, Don Lino’s (Robert De Niro) sons, Franky (Michael Imperioli) and Lenny (Jack Black), are out to teach Lenny how to kill so he can help run their father’s criminal empire. An anchor ends up crushing Franky, and Oscar takes credit for killing him, earning him the love of his community but the hatred of Don Lino.

There are many reasons why Shark Tale is among the worst movies of 2004, but the most glaring is its main character. Oscar is way too unlikable as a protagonist, and it’s hard for audiences to sympathize with him when he comes to resent his fame due to his earlier selfish and thoughtless actions. It also doesn’t help that the animation is ugly as sin, from the grimy aesthetic of the underwater world to the uncomfortably large lips of the fish characters.

8

‘The Land Before Time XIII: The Wisdom of Friends’ (2007)

Directed by Jamie Mitchell

When Grandma Longneck (Miriam Flynn) almost dies in an earthquake, she comforts a distressed Littlefoot (Cody and Logan Arens) by explaining to him various life lessons and good habits called “Wisdoms.” Later, Littlefoot and his friends encounter a trio of yellow-bellied dinosaurs who have lost their way while migrating to Berry Vally. Since the Yellow Bellies are idiots, Littlefoot takes it upon himself to be their guide and teach them about the Wisdoms, but their goofy antics and short attention spans make both tasks rather difficult.

There is a poetic irony that the worst sequel to The Land Before Time is the thirteenth film in the franchise. While the original 1988 movie was dark, mature, and didn’t talk down to kids, The Land Before Time XIII: The Wisdom of Friends is equivalent to animated junk food that offers bright colors and silly antics but nothing of value. All the film’s problems can be traced back to the Yellow Bellies: their shrill voices waste the talented Cuba Gooding Jr and Sandra Oh, while their idiotic antics and lack of self-preservation harm the film’s morale while constantly putting the protagonists in harm’s way.

The Land Before Time XIII: The Wisdom of Friends

Release Date

November 27, 2007

Runtime

76 minutes

7

‘Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike’ (2007)

Directed by David Kim and Rex Piano

After being thrown overboard by his pirate crew, Sanda Claus (Joe Alaskey) and his half-brother Dingle Kringle (Tom Kenny) somehow arrive at the North Pole, where they are welcomed by elves who believe Santa is destined to be their leader. They grant the brothers immortality, but while Santa delivers toys to children, Dingle lazes around for several hundred years until Santa tells him to get a place of his own. Dingle tries and usurp control over Christmas by challenging Santa to a game of Elf Bowling.

Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike takes a simple computer game about Santa knocking down striking elves like bowling pins and turns it into a confusing mess of a film. The animation is janky due to a combination of low textures and offputting motion capture, while the story pads itself out by replaying the same story beats over and over again. The film is also a musical, so audiences get treated to numerous low-quality songs, including one particularly uncomfortable one where Dingle sings about the joys of slavery.

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6

‘Doogal’ (2005)

Directed by Dave Borthwick, Frank Passingham, and Jean Duval

When Dougal (Daniel Tay) accidentally crashes into a magic roundabout, he releases Zeebad (Jon Stewart), a jack-in-the-box wizard. Zeebad’s good counterpart, Zebedee (Sir Ian McKellen), explains that he will usher in a new ice age if he is not sealed away soon. Dougal and his friends, Brian the snail (William H. Macy), Ermintrude the cow (Whoopi Goldberg), and Dylan the rabbit (Jimmy Fallon), must bring together three magic diamonds before Zeebad can use them to work his icy magic.

Originally titled The Magic Roundabout in Europe, Doogal is what happens when localizers go too far. The original story is buried beneath a constant barrage of pop culture references and toilet humor as if it fears losing the audience’s attention if it gives them a moment of respite. While the European version is seen as a decent enough film, the American dub has been lambasted as one of the worst animated films of the 2000s.

Doogal is not available to stream or purchase in the US and Canada.

5

‘Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa’ (2002)

Directed by Colin Slater

As Christmas draws near, the children of Rapsittie Street can’t help but speculate about what gifts they’ll receive. Ricky (Walter Emanuel Jones), a young boy living with his great-grandmother (Debra Wilson), decides to give his beloved teddy bear, gifted to him by his mother, to local golden student and materialist Nicole (Paige O’Hara). She initially rejects the bear and throws it away, but after learning how important it is to Ricky, she enlists some of her classmates to help find it.

Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa is so abysmal that it transcends to become a so-bad-it’s-good holiday trainwreck. The animation is atrocious, with stiff movements, unfinished models, and characters who walk by sliding across the screen because their feet never properly touch the ground. Meanwhile, the story is as predictable as they come for a Christmas special and even includes a subplot about a girl named Lenee (Jodi Benson) doubting her faith in Santa. The best that can be said is that the special somehow rounded up some of the best names in voice acting, including Mark Hamill and Nancy Cartwright, so at least the offputting characters sound good.

Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa is not available to stream or purchase in the US and Canada,

4

‘The Cat in the Hat’ (2003)

Directed by Bo Welch

Conrad (Spencer Breslin) and Sally Walden (Dakota Fanning) torture their overworked mother, Joan (Kelly Preston), by being a troublemaker and control freak, respectively. One day, as the kids are stuck inside during the rain, an anthropomorphic talking cat called the Cat in the Hat (Mike Myers) shows up to teach the kids to have fun. However, his lessons cause mass destruction and attract the attention of the neighbor, Larry (Alec Baldwin), who hopes to marry Joan and send Conrad to military school.

The Cat in the Hat is the worst Dr. Seuss film, making his widow, Audrey Geisel, prohibit future live-action adaptations of her husband’s work. Unlike Jim Carry from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, who merged with his costume to deliver a phenomenal performance, Myers feels awkward and stiff as the Cat in the Hat. This approach is at odds with the character’s eccentric and fun-loving nature and makes him come across as creepy. Beyond Myers’ performance, the film is mean-spirited and filled to the brim with out-of-place sexual innuendos.

The Cat in the Hat

Release Date

November 21, 2003

Runtime

82 Minutes

3

‘The Master of Disguise’ (2002)

Directed by Perry Andelin Blake

When Pistachio’s (Dana Carvey) parents are kidnapped by master criminal Devlin Bowman (Brent Spiner), his grandfather reveals that their family is masters of disguise who use their talent for mimicry to break up criminal empires. If Pistachio is to rescue his parents, who are being forced to steal artifacts for Bowman, he must master this gift as quickly as possible. He also hires an assistant, Jennifer Baker (Jennifer Esposito), who he subjects to questionable and outright problematic comments.

Roger Ebert summed up The Master of Disguise perfectly in his written review, “The movie is like a party guest who thinks he is funny and is wrong.” It keeps repeating the same jokes over and over again: Jennifer has a small butt, Bowman farts all the time, and Pistachio says “turtle” repeatedly when trying to get into the Turtle Club, as if it thinks repeating the joke a million times will suddenly make it funny. You might think that the film is at least mercifully short, but no, they pad out the credits with outtakes and deleted scenes.

2

‘Son of the Mask’ (2005)

Directed by Lawrence Guterman

When cartoonist Tim Avery’s (Jamie Kennedy) dog, Otis (Bill Farmer and Richard Steven Horvitz), comes home with a green mask, he wears it for a Halloween party and is transformed into a living cartoon character who can warp reality around himself. Before taking the mask off, he gets his wife pregnant, and the baby inherits the mask’s powers. As Tim tries to be a good father to his son, Otis gets jealous and tries to use the mask to kill the baby. Oh, and the Norse God Loki (Alan Cummings) is looking for the mask on the orders of Odin (Bob Hoskins).

Son of the Mask is like being trapped in a waking nightmare. More traumatizing than entertaining, the film uses CGI to squash, stretch, and exaggerate its characters like they are in a Tex Avery cartoon, but what is hilarious and charming when done to a 2D character comes across as horrific on a human, let alone a young baby. What’s worse is that these demonic images bombard the screen in rapid-fire succession, meaning that your brain doesn’t even have time to process each horror before being assaulted by the next.

1

‘Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2’ (2004)

Directed by Bob Clark

Four babies who keep their intelligence hidden from adults share the story of Kahuna (Leo, Gerry, and Myles Fitzgerald/David A. Kaye), a super baby who doesn’t age and goes around the world rescuing kids in need. Sure enough, Kahuna arrives in their town in pursuit of his rival, Bill Biscane (Jon Voight), who has evil plans to hypnotize people through his new television network. To stop him, Kahuna takes the four babies to his secret lair and helps them unlock their superpowers.

The original Baby Geniuses was panned for its ridiculous premise and horrible special effects used to make the babies talk, but Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 somehow takes everything bad about the first film and makes it worse. This film has no target audience: kids can’t get sucked into the power fantasy of defeating evil adults because the protagonists are babies, and older audiences can’t get invested in the plot because it’s a paper-thin excuse to have a bunch of jokes that revolve around babies. It’s the cinematic equivalent to antimatter, destroying everything it comes into contact with, more than earning its 0% score on Rotten Tomatoes.

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NEXT: The 10 Best Movies That Defined the 2000s, Ranked