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(Former) Mesa County, Colorado, Clerk and Recorder, certified wackadoo, and MyPillow pal Tina Peters is FINALLY going to trial, almost three years since her indictment on 10 criminal counts of conspiracy for a breach of Dominion voting machines. You know, the very kind of breach that she claimed anti-Trump forces were doing!
Ricky Schroder (now “Rick”), the former star of “Silver Spoons,” has shown up to the courthouse with a Bible reciting prayers, and the judge has already told members of the peanut gallery to STFU or get ejected, so you know it’s going to be a normal one.
As you might recall, Peters hatched a plan to disable the security cameras, unlock the doors, and sneak in a former pro surfer named Conan Hayes to tamper with Dominion voting machines in Mesa County, so they could then complain that someone was tampering with voting machines in Mesa County. It’s very Sidney Powell! Peters did this with the help of her co-worker Belinda Knisley and some goons allegedly sent by (also former!) Overstock dot com CEO Patrick Byrne, the Trump advisor who’d been bumping pirogies with Russian spy Maria Butina. But everybody in the scheme was so damn obvious about it they were busted toot sweet.
In this creative-ratfuckery exercise, the crew stole the identity of a state employee named Gerald Wood, and claimed that Conan Hayes/Gerald Wood was a new administrative assistant.
That got him access to a highly secure four-hour process known as a “trusted build,” with state and county officials physically present in a room while Dominion employees updated voting machine hard drives.
Once in, Conan Hayes allegedly managed to take digital images of content on the Dominion hard drives, along with unique passwords, which helpfully let investigators pinpoint exactly whodunnit.
Hayes also messed with the server somehow, disabling the secure boot setting and enabling booting from an optical drive. And then SOMEHOW video of the hard drives and passwords made its way to the Gateway Pundit, and to the great wizard of QAnon himself, Ron Watkins.
Just as investigators showed up with a warrant for Peters’s office, she hightailed it off to MyPillow guy’s Cyber Pillowpalooza to cry election conspiracy theories about how some bad person compromised the machines, and boohoo, she is persecuted because her office is being raided by people with a warrant!
Donald J. Trump won with 62 percent of the vote in Mesa County in 2020, so it’s not clear what kind of hashtag-rigged these brain geniuses were even attempting to show. What they actually ended up proving was that there are multiple safeguards so that you can’t mess with the machines and get away with it, oops! Especially when you’re as obvious about it as she and her alleged co-conspirators were.
It’s not ended well for them! Peters got removed from overseeing Mesa County’s elections. Pillowclown Mike Lindell got his phone seized at the Hardee’s drive thru and still owes $5 million pillowbucks to a guy he challenged to prove his election fraud claims wrong in exchange for $5 million.
Belinda Knisley was charged with felony burglary and misdemeanor cyber crime and made a deal to testify against Peters in exchange for keeping herself out of the pokey. Which pissed off Peters so much that she illegally recorded a hearing for Knisley on her iPad, leading to Peters being arrested in a bagel shop and throwing a massive Karen-y fit about it, all while “Let it Be” played in the background. She even kicked a cop! Watch it for yourself on YouTube!
Of course this got Peters Tased, beaten, and given a rough ride to central booking. Ha ha ha no, she is a white lady with a Gucci belt, so she was released at the scene and never served a minute of jail time. She got four months of house arrest, an ankle monitor, and 120 hours of community service.
Did she say thank you for the white-glove service? No, she accused prosecutors of double homicide on a podcast. Very normal!
Also having a normal one, Patrick Byrne, who said on an online symposium last Thursday:
“If you have any brains at all, which I’m not sure they do, they should be throwing in the towel and just surrendering and dropping this case against Tina because those who don’t are going to end up facing a piano wire and a blowtorch before this is over if I have anything to do with it. So I know that’s probably another felony, but fuck it — threatening them like that — but there we are. I don’t care how many felonies I’ve committed, and I don’t care that I’m committing felonies by threatening [law enforcement]. You folks do your job or when this is over, the folks who are part of this are going to be facing, you know, piano wire and blowtorches before this is over. So you start doing your job and stop worrying about me.”
Somebody sure sounds worried! Dominion filed a $1.6 billion defamation lawsuit against Byrne in 2021, and the case is still ongoing.
Good news for Ricky Schroeder, though, Peters has already conceded all the facts in her case, so the trial should go pretty fast!
