Testimony in Donald Trump’s hush money election interference porn peener payoff trial wrapped up today, and it was short but a banger.
Don Junior showed up to pose in front of the courthouse with daddy and the entourage, so nice of him to get up early and drop by for one single day to support his horndog dad!
Also populating the Greek chorus of suck-ups and gag-order violators: Lt. Gov. of Texas Dan Patrick, former South Carolina Rep. Trey Gowdy, big-dick toilet marketer Matt Whitaker, former Florida AG Pam Bondi, Sen. Eric Schmitt, Reps. Daniel Webster, Dan Meuser, Ronny “pill mill” Jackson, Troy Nehls, Dale Strong, and Maria Salazar, neo-Nazi Sebastian Gorka, former Hells Angel and meth dealer Chuck Zito, and Joe Piscopo. Yes, the actor from “Saturday Night Live,” he’s gone right-wing and has an AM-radio rant show on Rudy Giuliani’s former station, where he has guests like Gorka and Dersh on to moan about how bad the white man has it in America.
Don VonShitzinpants’s toadies lined up outside to take turns fuming on his behalf and lauding him as as popular as the Pope, for the benefit of news cameras and about six Trump supporters.
Fumed Dan Patrick, “What happens when the courts come after you because you said something that the ruling class didn’t like? That’s what all these other countries are all about. They shut down the ruling class. They want to be sure that anyone who speaks up against the ruling class disappears!” Which is it, buddy? Is the ruling class the oppressed, or is it, like it says right in the name, “the ruling class”? Anyway, obviously “the ruling class” doesn’t include “Republicans and this guy who was, unaccountably, president of the United States.”
Funny stuff about a guy who (allegedly) had Michael Cohen thrown in solitary just for writing a book! Poor, downtrodden Trump, man of the people!
Trump was still visibly pissed about the low turnout of supporters, and ridiculously lied, “The only people allowed out there are radical left lunatics and they put our people four or five blocks away. There are a lot of them too!” MMM HMM, great big hordes of supporters in Manhattan, sure. Trump also has a rally planned in the Bronx on Thursday, where only 16 percent of residents voted for him in 2020. Isn’t the swing state of Pennsylvania like right there, wouldn’t that be a better use of his time? Shrug emoji.
Anyhoo, when court last left off on Monday, the defense’s star witness — Rudy Giuliani’s flying monkey Bob Costello — was getting his ass scorched by Justice Juan Merchan for his cross-talking, eye-rolling, disrespectful, fulla-shit performance. Tuesday (today) he managed to keep himself from getting sanctioned during his half hour or so on the stand, but that’s about the best that can be said. Prosecutor Susan Hoffinger laid ruin to whatever might have been left of his credibility, nailing his slimy ass with emails showing Costello and his law partner Jeffrey Citron hustling, desperately trying to keep Cohen in the crime family fold, just like Cohen testified last week.
YESTERDAY!
SOMETIME LAST WEEK!
And though Costello had been presenting himself as acting as Cohen’s attorney, Hoffinger whipped out emails that made it beyond clear that Costello most certainly was not, with Cohen telling Costello to stop contacting him, and Costello complaining to Citron that Cohen was “slow playing us” and “he is playing with the most powerful man on the planet.”
Hoffinger showed an email with Costello telling Citron that their goal was to get “Cohen on the right page without giving him the appearance that we are following instructions from Giuliani or the president. In my opinion, this is the clear & correct strategy.”
No wonder Cohen said there was something “really sketchy and wrong” about Bob. That sums up his personality pretty well!
HOFFINGER: You wrote to Jeffrey Citron, ‘Reason for Cohen to hire me, my connection to Giuliani.’ That’s your email?
That would sure seem to imply that Costello was NOT HIRED!
COSTELLO: Correct … There are surrounding circumstances I’d be delighted to explain for you.
HOFFINGER: That’s all right. Let me read another email … “We must reverse the Avenatti effect, -Bob.” You wrote this?
COSTELLO: Michael Cohen had been complaining, incessantly, about Rudy’s comments in the press.
For his shot, Trump attorney Emil Bove didn’t do much better.
BOVE: What did you mean when you wrote about being played?
COSTELLO: Jeff Citron gave him the retainer agreement. Cohen put it in his briefcase, then always evaded our questions about it.
BOVE: This is an email Michael Cohen sent to you and others on August 8. … And I want to focus on the part of the sentence that reads “you have never represented me.” From your standpoint, is that true or false?
COSTELLO: False.
Facts don’t care about your feelings, BOB!
BOVE: Who first used the word “backchanneling”?
COSTELLO: Rudy Giuliani.
Yeah, not helping your client at all, there, Emil. Sounds pretty obstruction-of-justicey, in fact!
BOVE: Did you ever have control of Michael Cohen?
COSTELLO: Clearly not.
Hoffinger’s final question: Did Michael Cohen ever sign the retainer?
COSTELLO: No.
HOFFINGER: No further questions.
BLANCHE: The Defense rests.
THE DEFENSE RESTS!!
After 20 days, they are finally done.
So Trump won’t be testifying in his own defense after all, what a shame! How many minutes until he starts lying that he wasn’t “allowed” to?
The jury is dismissed until next Tuesday, and may start deliberating Wednesday.
All that’s left is the charging conference today, at 2:15, which is dull but important, how the law will be laid out for the jury to interpret.
While we wait, why not catch up on the epic 20 days of trial posts?
It’s been a long, strange, trip, man. The defense only needs one juror to hang the jury, and the odds aren’t zero that some wackadoo slipped in. That would mean a mistrial, and possibly re-trying the case. OR, in two weeks from now or less, the former president could be a convicted felon! The suspense!
Thanks for reading along with this shitshow, we’ve enjoyed the company!
Until next time!
