The Year Tommy Tuberville Fucked The Military And Saved Zero (0) Unborned Babies, What A Dumbass

Tommy Tuberville is the dumb fucking thing that serves as Alabama’s senior senator. (Oh yes, look it up.) As we type this, his one-man national-security-fucking, military-fucking tantrum show of blocking President Joe Biden’s military nominations and promotions, because he’s upset about the Pentagon’s (pro-)abortion policies, has been over for a few weeks.

Oh but what fun we had.

Tuberville spent almost an entire year crinkling up his stupid moron coach face in confused anger (he’s very stupid) over the fact that President Joe Biden’s Pentagon is now willing to assist troops or their families if they need to travel out of state for abortion care, should they find themselves in one of America’s fascist states and unable to access it. This only became necessary because Donald Trump’s illegitimate partisan hack Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.

As we can see in the results of literally every election since then, Americans fucking love abortion. And they do not like pervert Republican panty-sniffers who have appointed themselves Bible guardians of all the genitals, including those involved in pregnancy.

And the military hated the way Tuberville fucked them and fucked national security.

As the months went on and hundreds of Biden military nominations and promotions sat unfilled, military leaders started standing up and asking the dipshit senator from Alabama why he was hurting America. Did he really think his imaginary yokel version of Jesus was pleased with him? And the answer is likely yes, which is just pathetically sad.

Military leaders literally asked him — begged him — to stop aiding and abetting America’s enemies.

But the clownporking redneck from Alabama just wouldn’t stop. He felt it was more important to hurt America to achieve his ideological religious goals, because that’s the kind of guy he is.

But then in December, the dipshit started to cave, having achieved exactly nothing. He got no concessions from the Pentagon or the Biden administration. He prevented zero abortions. “We got all we could get” from Biden, he told reporters.

He. Got. Nothing.

We endured almost a year of this impertinent little hayseed hurting America’s military so he could go home (to Florida) and brag that he did nothing.

We are 100 percent confident that any anti-abortion, anti-military actions Tuberville undertakes in the new year will have the same success rate.

Hey, wanna hear what a goddamned moron Tommy Tuberville is? On his Senate website, it literally refers to him as “Coach.”

You know, in case you didn’t realize we were dealing with one of those hilarious situations where a coach has to substitute-teach a real class.

PREVIOUSLY IN THIS MORON RIGHT HERE:

Tommy Tuberville’s Year Of Setting His Dick On Fire And Eating It Comes To Predictably Humiliating End

Why Does Tommy Tuberville Hate The Troops So Much?

Military Secretaries Just Wishing Tommy Tuberville Would Stop Literally ‘Aiding And Abetting’ America’s Enemies

‘We Got All We Could Get,’ Says Tommy Tuberville, Who Got Nothing

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