Is there a CrossFit exercise — maybe some kind of burpee? — that involves repeatedly smashing your own ears with “Looney Tunes” anvils? Because if so, we think Marjorie Taylor Greene should stop doing that one. It seems her brain is more broken and she’s more of an ignorant dumbass than we even knew. It’s hard to imagine, obviously, but it’s also hard to imagine how that burpee would work. (Jump, squat, hop back into plank resting your hands on anvils, pick up anvils real fast and just fucking cymbal clap the shit out of your ears, anvils back down, back to squat, hop up. That’s one rep.)
It’s been said by at least one of Greene’s Republican colleagues that he guesses she’s so ignorant of things like the Constitution because they don’t teach it at CrossFit. We know she’s woefully confused about how literally anything works, not least the US government.
But she really may need to watch some kind of extremely dumbed-down version of the Schoolhouse Rock “How A Bill Becomes A Law” video, as evidence is mounting that she really doesn’t know how that works.
Wednesday, during the Worldwide Threats hearing in the House — the same one where idiot Rep. Clay Higgins demanded FBI Director Christopher Wray tell him WHAR GHOST BUSES???? that brought the feds dressed in drag as MAGA idiots to attack the Capitol on January 6 — Greene was yelling at Homeland Security Director Alejandro Mayorkas. It was her usual “I’m the mom who brings Chips Ahoy to the Ku Klux Klan bake sale” routine about how she was going to impeach him. She noted that last week she advanced a resolution to impeach him, but it failed because some Republicans voted against it, but that doesn’t mean his day isn’t coming.
And curiously, she threatened that he should resign or be impeached. It was as if she thought that if her impeachment resolution was successful, something would happen to Mayorkas, that he would have to go somewhere, that he would no longer run Homeland Security.
“Earlier this week, eight Republicans joined the Democrats and protected your job, but I want you to know. You have a short time coming. You can honorably resign, or we are going to impeach you, and it’s happening very, very soon.”
Um, OK. If the mouthbreather caucus led by Christian extremist freakshow Mike Johnson impeached Mayorkas it would then go … where would it go, Ms. Greene?
Does she know? Does she know there’s another group on the other side of the Capitol? Does she know its role in passing laws? Does she know the Houses can’t just act independently of each other, with notable exceptions like judicial confirmations?
Does she know who controls that big room on the other side of the Capitol? Does she know that two-thirds of the other big room would have to vote to convict Mayorkas in a trial?
Does she know that “impeached by Marjorie Taylor Greene” is about equivalent to “avoided stepping in dogshit but smelled it as I was walking by” on the scale of bad things that can happen in a person’s day?
Here’s the thing: Greene had another moment like this Tuesday night.
In that instance, Greene was being a total anal abscess, trying to paint Democratic Rep. Rosa DeLauro as a confused 80-year-old lady who didn’t know where she was and couldn’t remember things she had just voted on. DeLauro had said we were on the verge of a shutdown. Greene said DeLauro “probably just forgot that just a few hours ago she voted for the continuing resolution that will extend the budget, and we are not on the verge of a shutdown.”
And DeLauro responded: “It may be that the gentlelady doesn’t know that there is another body attached to the US Congress called the United States Senate, and they have to vote on the continuing resolution. And when they vote on it, we’ll find out what it is that they do with regard to this continuing resolution passed by the House. Which quite frankly is flawed to a fare-thee-well. Flawed to a fare-thee-well in meeting our obligations both domestic and international.”
And in case there was any other confusion, DeLauro finished: “And by the way, it isn’t a law of the land until the president of the United States signs it. That may be a basic lesson in civics” that Greene needs.
Good video, we recommend:
Look, things are confusing. We learned all this in elementary school but maybe Greene was doing anvil burpees during that time too and she’s way behind and also a lifetime of anvil burpees has left her brain irretrievably broken.
Her constituents should know, if so.
Elsewhere in the Worldwide Threats hearing, Greene defended January 6 terrorists (surprise) and yelled at Wray to investigate “intifada and jihad” instead of that, and LOL her pronunciation of “intifada.” It was like she was trying to order off one of them confusing take-out menus. She referred to January 6 terrorists as “innocent grandmothers and veterans.” This was part of a big mad Karen Komplaint she was shouting in Wray’s general direction for refusing to investigate Rashida Tlaib’s likes on Facebook.
At another point she was utterly confused Wray said he hadn’t seen something she was showing him from Twitter, because he doesn’t spend all his time smelling his own farts on Twitter like she does. Her only retort was some batshit babbling about how obviously Wray is on Twitter because the Department of Homeland Security is always on there, censoring her.
He informed the gentlelady that he was not part of the Department of Homeland Security.
Anvil burpees or not, it’s somethin’ severely wrong with this woman.
OPEN THREAD.
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