Here’s Why Robust GDP Growth Report Is Good News For John McCain! Plus your Wonkette Thursday news!

Sorry I skipped the last couple days at you! I forgot on Tuesday. I was pelvis-deep in nonsense, having caught some strange psychological bug that involved taking between seven and 15 bags and boxes of bullshit out of the girls’ playroom before our party; I should have docked myself a half-day’s vacation, I was so not present, but do you have any idea how many hours I work, hint it is all of them. (Come to my party on Saturday, Detroit! You can reply to this email to ask for my address, if you promise to NOT MURDER ME!) And then on Wednesday I had already mistakenly sent you a presser, so I didn’t want to blow out your inbox because MESSAGE: I CARE.

LOL I am so old, and you are so old that you get that reference!

Hey how about some great news right up top?

United Auto Workers And Ford: LET’S MAKE A DEAL!

We did some tabs!

A New York Museum’s House Of Bones! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 26, 2023

Gee kind of seems like Fulton County DA Fani Willis is sewing this up TIGHT.

Fani Willis All Like Plea Deals For Everybody! Except Donald Trump! LMAO F*ck That Guy!

Bret Baier, won’t you think of the coal?

Oh Dear, Bret Baier’s Dumb Ugly Mansion Probably Personally Responsible For Killing Coal

Dude’s a creeper.

Sorry My Wife Couldn’t Make It, She Blew Out Her Knees Praying: The Creepy Religious Extremism Of Speaker Mike Johnson

Related!

Matt Gaetz Says Mike Johnson Putting House On ‘Bayou Hours.’ What The Hell Is That?

Now for something awful.

Search Continues For Whichever Antifa Biden Lib Forced Maine Shooter To Pretend To Be A Right-Winger

Also related.

Georgia Wants To Bribe Teachers $10,000 To Carry Guns, Almost Definitely Get Themselves Killed

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There was a press briefing! I didn’t watch it, I was busy. Did you?

LIVE: White House Briefing, Probably Hardly Anything To Talk About Today

We better end with some more good news, because goddamn we all could use some. Don’t you feel like you’re just taking crazy pills?

Here’s Why Robust GDP Growth Report Is Good News For John McCain!

That’s probably because you are.

See you bright and early for tabs!

xoxo

becca

wonkette