If there’s one thing as sure as death and taxes, it’s that if a thing happens — any thing, a good thing, a bad thing, a terrible thing, a scary thing, a big thing, a little thing, ANY OLD THING — the extraneous white men on Fox News can be racist about it. It’s easy. They don’t even have to prepare. It’s improv! It’s like “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” but instead of jokes it’s racism.
Greg Gutfeld was reporting — loosest use of the term — on Israel and Hamas yesterday afternoon, and he decided it was time to Just Ask Questions a conspiracy theory: Did all Arabs and/or Palestinians know this weekend’s attack was coming? Because their protest signs just looked too elegant for them to whip up overnight.
It’s almost like somebody showed up at their house and gave a secret Arabic bat signal that said “Go to Kinko’s!”
Of course Gutfeld’s commentary was full of the geopolitical understanding of things Fox News is so famous for (click over to Mediaite for video if you REALLY want it):
“Peaceful coexistence is really easy to undermine with a mind virus,” he said. “This isn’t about territory. It’s about an ideology. And it’s not about just Israel. It’s about us taking our eye off the ball.”
None of those words mean anything.
“Have you seen the celebrations outside?” he continued. “It’s absolutely amazing how professional those signs are. And to do that in just 24 hours – it’s almost as though this was planned and that every celebration around the world knew that this was coming. So, you have an explosive of violence, and you have a slow boil here. But the origin of heat is the same.”
Greg Gutfeld sees through your conspiracies. Those signs are no glue, glitter, pipe cleaner and googly eyes job. That’s perfessional.
OK, Greg, now scare the 86-year-old white Fox News viewers who think you’re just a good boy who would never lie to them, the ones who desperately wish their own children didn’t stop speaking to them about seven years ago, make ‘em shit their pants:
“This weekend was an all-at-once punch,” he said. “But for us, it’s a slow boil, and it’s coming. We have to be aware of that because we’re seeing this same mentality on the streets right now. So, don’t think it’s far away, it’s here, it’s on our streets.”
Well done, good and faithful Fox News servant.
Mediaite reminds us that back in the 9/11 times, there was a persistent antisemitic conspiracy theory that Jewish people got a secret warning to stay home from work that day if they were in lower Manhattan.
And of course who can forget the conspiracy theories senile white supremacist lies about Muslims dancing in the streets in New Jersey on that day? Donald Trump loves that one.
Guess it’s time for the same sorts of garbage people to create some conspiracy theories and lies around the attacks in Israel.
Of course, today’s MAGA conservatives are the stupidest breed of conservatives ever to get whelped, so we get, um, whatever this is about how Arabs worldwide got secret messages regarding poster board and magic markers.
Fuck off.
OPEN THREAD.
[Mediaite]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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