Trump Had MORE Stolen Classified Docs In Storage Unit Out By The Highway? You Lie!

One of these days maybe we will find out that Donald Trump and/or his lawyers told the feds that SIR YES SIR SCOUTS HONOR we have given back all the highly guarded state secrets Trump stole for as-yet-undetermined-and-possibly-treasonous purposes, and they will have been telling the whole entire truth.

Perhaps. Stranger things have happened.

But today is not that day.

Please do not faint when you find out that “Items with classified markings found at Trump storage unit in Florida.” Oh no, you just fainted! Snort some black pepper and meet us in the next paragraph.

Turns out an outside team hired by Trump’s lawyers did some checking around in various nooks and crannies where Trump sticks stuff, and in a storage unit in West Palm Beach they found “at least two items marked classified.” Just hangin’ around in the storage unit, maybe between Ivanka’s prom dress and Eric’s old science fair projects, perhaps. What were these state secrets, and was Trump planning to sell them to the Saudis, the Russians, or someone we haven’t even thought of yet? No idea.

MORE! Oh THOSE Classified Documents In Trump’s Trash Palace Basement!

MORE AGAIN! Fox News Host Asked If Trump Tried To Sell State Secrets To Foreigns, So He’s Probably Fired Now

STILL MORE! Oh THAT Stolen Mar-a-Lago Nuke Doc? Trump Did Not Know You Meant THAT Stolen Mar-a-Lago Nuke Doc!

The team also reportedly searched Bedminster in New Jersey and Trump Tower in New York. CNN’s reporting adds an office in Florida to the list. Dunno if they found anything in those places, but the Trump team told the feds they didn’t, so we’re sure that’s reliable information.

This is the scoop the news has. We’ll find out more scoops when the news gets more scoops, or when Special Counsel Jack Smith writes it all out in a series of indictments.

The search was one of at least three searches for classified materials conducted by an outside team at Trump properties in recent weeks, after Trump’s legal team was pressed by a federal judge to attest that it had fully complied with a May grand jury subpoena to turn over all materials bearing classified markings, according to people familiar with the matter. […]

Much of the legal wrangling remains under seal by a federal judge, but people familiar with the matter say the Justice Department has raised concerns about what prosecutors view as a long-standing failure to fully comply with the May subpoena by Trump’s team.

That’s one way of putting that, we reckon.

MORE BAD! Special Counsel Jack Smith Drops Subpoenas As Trumpland Realizes This Sh*t Is BAD

The Washington Post explains that the General Services Administration helped rent this storage unit for Trump, in order to stow shit from an office in northern Virginia that Trump staffers were using after Trump quit being president. They helped with the shipping and everything. So we guess that means there were classified documents just sitting around that office? Cool.

A person familiar with the matter said the storage unit had a mix of boxes, gifts, suits and clothes, among other things. “It was suits and swords and wrestling belts and all sorts of things,” this person said. “To my knowledge, he has never even been to that storage unit. I don’t think anyone in Trump World could tell you what’s in that storage unit.”

Yeah we betcha. Just a bunch of Don Jr.’s old underpants and … swords? … and apparently classified documents. Sounds like “person familiar with the matter” who’s trying to absolve Trump of guilt in the Washington Post has more than a passing familiarithy with the contents of that storage unit.

The Post explains why this is all significant, in case any of us missed it:

It […] provides further evidence that Trump and his team did not fully comply with a May grand jury subpoena that sought all documents marked classified still in possession of the post-presidential office. […]

Jay Bratt, the chief of the counterintelligence and export control section at the Justice Department, communicated to Trump’s lawyers after the FBI search that the department was concerned Trump still may not have returned all the classified documents in his possession. The Post has previously reported that officials at the National Archives also believe that there may still be more records missing. Previous attempts by Trump’s attorneys to identify and return documents proved unsatisfactory to investigators.

At times in the past, Trump has misled his own lawyers as to what was in the boxes that were taken from Mar-a-Lago, The Post has reported.

We’re sure Special Counsel Smith will sort if all out and whoever needs to go to prison will go there. We are actually finally at long last becoming confident of that.

Here’s a fun thread from Marcy Wheeler:

We have a sneaking suspicion that Donald Trump’s hell only gets worse from here on out.

[Washington Post]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!

And once that doesn’t exist, I’m also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@evanhurst@newsie.social) and at Post!

Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.