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In an administration that selects for idiot blowhards, it takes some work to make yourself stand out. So mazel tov to gaseous shit goblin Tom Homan for doing the work. He’s the perfect Trump lickspittle: he’s glib, he’s cruel, he’s so dumb that a syphilitic howler monkey could mate him in three moves in a chess match, and he’s so very loudly but confidently wrong about everything. He’s like the love child of Mr. Potter and a brick.
Homan, the White House border czar, was out in public with his trademark gravel-voiced bluster on Monday, trying to provoke a dick-waving contest with the American judiciary over the Trump administration’s trafficking a couple of hundred Venezuelans to be used as slave labor in an El Salvador mega-prison. This, as best we can tell, is like 90 percent of Homan’s job: TV hits aimed squarely at the melting Cabbage Patch doll in the Oval Office, who loves nothing more than to see his apple-polishers acting like tough guys while praising him on the idiot box.
First, he stopped by “Fox & Friends” to chat with some dude who is not Steve Doocy, but was filling in maybe because the handle on the Jack-in-the-Box where they store Doocy on weekends broke and now Doocy is inside there forever.
Hey, do you want to listen to five minutes of a sneering human thumb all but daring a judge to exercise his judicial authority? Of course you don’t!
That’s neat, the way these two are practically jizzing in their pants at the sight of the deportees shackled, heads newly shaved, being manhandled onto buses and taken to an El Salvador prison, where again, they will be used as slave labor, according to El Salvador’s president. There is another term for what this action represents, and it rhymes with yuman grafficking.
Anyway, here’s some of Homan’s word vomit:
“The judge made some comment about returning the flights. We’re already in international waters. We’re outside the borders of the United States. I’m the border czar. Once you are outside the borders, you know, it is what it is.”
The planes were over international waters. Were Tom Homan and the brain trust that runs ICE over international waters? They were not! They were still very much in the United States, representing the very American government that is the entity the judge is directing, not the physical flights. There is no “drrrrr plane was over international waters so suck it, Your Honor drrrrrr” exception.
Homan went on to sneer that he couldn’t believe a “radical judge” wouldn’t want these “terrorists,” whom he accused of being an invasion force directed by the government of Venezuela to wreak havoc inside the US, out of the country. Which is not what the judge wants. What he wants is for due process and the law to be followed, which is his goddamn job. Shoot, even terrorists arrested in this country have legal rights.
We’d say that Homan knows this and is blustering, but he might not know it. He’s pretty dumb.
“We’re not stopping. I don’t care what the judges think. I don’t care what the left thinks. We’re coming.”
Judges love hearing you don’t care what they think. Thank you for basically writing Judge Boasberg’s criminal contempt ruling for him, we’re sure he appreciates it.
Okay, we’re getting ahead of ourselves, but we’re guessing at least some judges still take the judiciary’s role seriously. Otherwise, what is the point of them?
And even taking Homan at face value is conceding the assertion that all the people on the flights were members of Tren de Aragua, which we are very much not conceding. How do you know these guys are all gangbangers? Apparently it involves reading entrails or something, as Homan told a scrum of reporters later on Monday:
He went on to add that the processes of identifying gang members is “law enforcement sensitive,” which is cop speak for There’s no criteria, we’re guessing based on some shit we heard on a Daily Wire podcast.
Homan was further shocked, SHOCKED WE TELL YOU, that the media would question the president’s authority to deport terrorists instead of celebrating like their latest cancer scans came back clean. (Okay, he didn’t say that last part precisely. But boy is he shocked.)
In the longer clip, a reporter mentions that Trump is claiming the authority to carry out these deportations under the Alien Enemies Act of 1798, which is an old law. Homan responds that it’s not as old as the Constitution, and “we still follow that, don’t we?”
NO, WE REALLY DON’T THINK WE DO FOLLOW THE CONSTITUTION ANYMORE, OVERSIZED HUMAN THUMB, THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT.
Homan might have even more reason to be mad later, since Judge Boasberg called for a hearing late Monday afternoon to find out why his explicit orders concerning the deportation flights was ignored. (DOJ tried to convince him to cancel the hearing — in a filing signed by the dream team of Pam Bondi, Todd Blanche and Emil Bove, maybe nobody left at DOJ with any self-respect was willing — and he almost immediately told DOJ to suck it.) We don’t imagine the judge is going to be happy a) because of the ignoring of his orders, and b) because DOJ tried to weasel out of having to answer for it.
Unfortunately, we imagine Tom Homan will continue gracing us with his screen presence, partly because he’s trying to placate the boss, who is reportedly mad that deportations haven’t been happening faster. But also because he’s a giant toady.
OPEN THREAD.
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