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Foreman versus Ali. Holyfield versus Tyson. Mayweather versus Pacquiao. Stone versus Kushner.
Well, perhaps watching Roger Stone and the Slender Man dance around each other for ten minutes until one of them pisses his pants and runs away shrieking does not rate a place in the pantheon all-time great fights. But the footage of Stone promising to beat Jared Kushner’s ass is worth the price of admission to the documentary A Storm Foretold, made by Danish filmmakers whom the OG ratfucker inexplicably allowed to follow him around with cameras as he tried to overturn the election.
The scene has been reported before, but the video of a manic Stone threatening to do violence to the president’s son-in-law for cockblocking his pardon is delightful.
“Jared Kushner has an IQ of 70. He’s coming to Miami. We will eject him from Miami very quickly; he will be leaving very quickly, Very quickly,” Stone fumed on inauguration day. Clearly the septuagenarian had plans for a turf war when Trump’s son-in-law, having made himself persona non grata in New York, decamped with his family to Florida.
“He has 100 security guards. I will have 5,000 security guards. You want to fight. Let’s fight. Fuck you!” he ranted. “Fuck you and your abortionist bitch daughter!”
Jared Kushner’s daughter is 11, so let’s assume that this is a reference to Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka. We always thought she was a useless waste of space, but if she really is earning her keep performing abortions, more power to her!
In any event, Kushner did not want to fight his father-in-law’s weird buddy. But, as the Daily Beast’s Zachary Petrizzo observes, Stone waged a campaign during the last two weeks of the Trump administration to get pardons for everyone involved in the insurrection, and blamed Kush when it didn’t happen.
“At risk of facing a rigged federal criminal prosecution in DC for daring challenge the 2020 election outcome are members of Congress like Matt Gaetz, Andy Biggs, Louie Gohmert, Jim Jordan, Mo Brooks, and Paul Gosar, as well as Senators Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley. Every House Republican should be pardoned except the 10 deserters,” he wrote in a memo first published by the Washington Post.
In the end, with no blanket pardon forthcoming, he trimmed his sails, seeking hall passes just for himself and his buddy Bernie Kerik, the former New York police commissioner who famously used an apartment near the wreckage of the Twin Towers set aside for first responders to conduct extramarital affairs. That would have been a second round of pardons for both men. Stone was pardoned on the eve of having to go to jail after a jury convicted him of making false statements to the FBI and tampering with a witness. And Trump wiped the slate clean in February 2020 for Kerik, who served jail time for tax fraud and corruption between 2010 and 2013. Stone blamed Kushner for blocking him getting a second bite of the orange, hence the histrionics.
And we’d note, despite Stone’s warning of a weaponized Justice Department going after Republican congressmen for trying to overthrow democracy, no such thing came to pass. Stone, Gaetz, and Jordan are still walking around telling lies, without facing any apparent consequence for the damage they wrought. Although, if Merrick Garland wanted to LOCK HER UP this braying jackass, we would not be mad about it.
[Beast]
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