Paul Gosar Supports Shooting People At Home In Arizona But Not In Ukraine

Decency sinkhole Paul Gosar, a rotted armadillo carcass posing as a congressman from Arizona, has had himself a week.

First, this white nationalist-lovin’, insurrectionist-supportin’, Lurch-but-dumb-lookin’ nitrous huffer would like you to know there is nothing wrong with shooting unarmed migrants wandering through the desert. Sort of like the Canaanites when the Israelis showed up outside the walls of Jericho, if the Canaanites had been a bunch of Fox News-watching weirdos cosplaying as hardened Yugoslav partisans locked in a guerrilla war with Tito.

At least that’s what Gosar told a couple of activists who tapped into their inner xenophobe while secretly recording the worst Nazi dentist since Laurence Olivier giving his enthusiastic support for desert migrant hunts:

ACTIVIST: My family’s ranch is down in Yuma and we have illegals on our land a lot. We’ve shot at them, and you know our Second Amendment rights to stand our ground. I’m worried that the Democrats are going to send me to jail if I hit one of them.

GOSAR: They have more rights than we do.

ACTIVIST: Yeah, it’s like I can’t shoot at them as they cross the border and stuff. I mean, I think I might have hit someone … I was distressed about it for a week.

GOSAR: Say a prayer because this country needs you. There’s a bunch of people ready to go into action.

This is where the whole stunt almost fell apart, because what weak-kneed, multi-gendered liberal weenie would feel bad about shooting a migrant? You have to make this believable by asking Gosar to put you up for a Congressional Medal of Honor.

But anyway, don’t feel bad about almost pretend-murdering someone, Fake Guy from Yuma. Paul Gosar does Nazi a problem.

Gosar then plumped for Republican gubernatorial nominee Kari Lake to declare a state of emergency and put National Guard troops on the border. “Then you’re gonna see a response,” he says, ominously. Great, let’s hope it’s nothing like the response among the National Guard troops that Texas Governor Yosemite Greg Abbott has stationed on his state’s border with Mexico. The suicide count among those poor kids was five in the past year as of three weeks ago.

Having shown a knack for domestic policy, Gosar then decided to insert himself into a foreign policy mess for which his decades of yelling at people for not flossing have prepared him. Obviously we mean Russia’s war in Ukraine:

Gosar is very “troubled” about the lack of peace efforts, and what better way to kick-start them than locking Putin and Zelenskyy in a conference room at the Sky Harbor Hilton and letting them hash it out? Frankly, we think this would work better as a threat: You two make peace between your nations or we’ll force you to spend a week in Phoenix.

There are a multitude of reasons why Ukraine and Russia don’t appear to have tried to hash out a peace agreement lately: Ukraine’s recent victories on the battlefield give it little incentive to negotiate yet, Russia has nowhere near run out of random citizens it can send to the frontlines with no training in the hope that the Ukrainian military will be slowed down by all their corpses lying on the roads, Vladimir Putin is basically a Fox News-loving grandpa and we know how calm and reasoned and ready to compromise guys like that usually are. (They are nowhere near calm and reasoned and ready to compromise, ever, and they will feed their own grandchildren into a meat shredder before giving up on whatever nonsense Tucker Carlson has been pumping into their veins.)

Also there is the little matter of Putin having been sanctioned by the United States after the invasion, an action that might preclude him traveling here even if he is the head of a sovereign nation. Details, details.

But just for kicks, we checked Gosar’s committee assignments to see if he served on anything foreign policy-related. That was when we remembered that Democrats stripped him of all his committee assignments last year for tweeting death threats at Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, an act for which as far as we know, he has yet to apologize. At least to her. He quickly apologized to his own caucus, presumably for saying the quiet part out loud.

Anyway, responsibility for foreign policy falls mostly to the Executive Branch, not to dentists whose own families hate them.

Let us hope that Gosar does not try to sweeten the deal by telling Putin he can go on a desert migrant hunt while he’s cooling his heels in Phoenix. Putin would probably enjoy that.

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