Dick Cheney And Liz Cheney Voting For Kamala Harris, Triggering Great Disturbance In The Force

We weren’t terribly surprised the other day when former Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyoming) announced that not only would she not vote for GOP nominee Donald Trump, she would vote for Democrat Kamala Harris — and she said it in North Carolina, which has now become a swing state again.

But on Friday, Cheney, speaking at the Texas Tribune Festival in Austin, went a step further, endorsing Democrat Colin Allred in his bid to replace podcaster and sometime Senator Ted Cruz. Then she said something really remarkable, which for the sake of storytelling convention we’re pretending you’ll be surprised by even after our headline and snazzy photoshopped illustration: She said her father, former Vice President Dick Cheney, would be voting for Harris as well. And he followed that up with a statement confirming it.

Well bullseye us with a womp rat! That’s the gol-durndest thing we’ve heard since Beggar’s Canyon voted for Mon Mothma after the Hutt Syndicate was dispossessed!

Here’s the straight dope from the Texas Tribune, since it was their festival and all:

“Dick Cheney will be voting for Kamala Harris,” she said of her father, who served as vice president under President George W. Bush from 2001 to 2009. “If you think about the moment we’re in, and you think about how serious this moment is, my dad believes — and he said publicly — there has never been an individual in our country who is as grave a threat to our democracy as Donald Trump is.”

And if anybody knows a grave threat to our democracy, it’d have to be the guy who did the most, before Trump and his Council of Cretins, to advance the notion that presidential power is nigh-absolute, especially when it comes to bloody foreign adventurism. Team Trump just added a little Divine Right of Presidents to what Cheney and the neocons started, didn’t it?

Here’s his statement:

So, dang, ain’t THAT something! The old war-crimer is on board with Kamala, and that’s certainly a measure of just how weird American politics has become. We’ll certainly be glad if this news gives non-Trumpy conservatives the permission they need to vote for a (*shudder*!) Democrat, for the good of the nation. (Wonkette rather famously believes in forgiveness and atonement, and you can still loathe the Cheneys but recognize when bad people do good things, and encourage them to do that more and further. Do you want bad people to stay bad? Or do you want the possibility of redemption?)

But we also feel compelled to add that by order of Yr Editrix, our headline for the day of Dick’s demise will remain “God Shoots Dick Cheney In Face,” with the subhed “And Now We Dance!”

And we will, beloveds, we will.

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For Unto Kamala Harris Has Come A Liz Cheney Endorsement

[Texas Tribune]

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That’s great, kid. Don’t get cocky.